if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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