Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
