Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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