There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
