If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
