My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
