so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
