life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
