I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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