Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize