grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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