Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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