I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.