Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.