it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside