someone threw a dead crab at me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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