well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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