If that was your dad, he is hot
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
