it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
