yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
