I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
