So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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