We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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