hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
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I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
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Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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