were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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