Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
