Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
