our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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