I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
