she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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