so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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