you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Your cock deserves a montage
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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