im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Damn victory sex feels great
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
