Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
