You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
