If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
