dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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