Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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