Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
