I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize