so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
