Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
