thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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