More tranny stories later!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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