i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
