i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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