Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
