i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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