I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
