there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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