what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
