Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
please come you make the beer taste better
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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