Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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