i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize