Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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