She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
