drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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