Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
