Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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