D3 body, D1 cock
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
